I have a confession to make. I haven’t been going “to church” lately. If you’re like me, you have become disillusioned by churches. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not disillusioned by ‘The Church’, which is Christ’s body on this earth. What bothers me is how this is played out in the reality of life.
Historical definition of what the Church is
We have become boxed in by our historical traditions about what the church is. For the most part the Church has been rejected by the world, and though we pretend and are ashamed to admit it, we’ve become detached from it too. When we think of church, our minds immediately conjure up images of buildings. It may be a simple white building with steeples, an ornate cathedral, or a humble storefront: but we think of a location, a place we go.
People, not a place
When Jesus spoke about building His Church, He was talking about a people, not a place. The Church is the Bride of Christ. We are His body on earth, it isn’t a place to go. If anyone believes in Jesus Christ as their only way to restore us to a relationship with God, then we ARE the Church. Why do we struggle to comprehend the invisible reality of it? Why do we feel we need a visual object to represent it? Why do we try to control it?
Methodical church programs
When I walk into most ‘churches’ I feel weighed down. It seems so sterile and neatly packaged and controlled. It doesn’t seem to matter whether it’s traditional or modern, whether the music is hymns or praise songs, whether the preacher and deacons wear suits and ties or jeans and flannel shirts. It is weighed down by traditions, programs, plans. It doesn’t feel Alive, or at least Awake.
I try. I really do. I love traditional services with hymns. But I feel this stifling expectation to wear formal dress. I’m made to feel like I’m less spiritual if I don’t dress a certain way or have the same values about their traditions. When I do wear the prescribed dress, I feel uncomfortable and fake.
If I attend a modern church with praise songs, overhead projectors and casual dress, I don’t feel looked down on as lesser. But I feel disconnected. I don’t know the songs, there aren’t any musical notations on the screen to help me, and my neighbors either don’t know them either, or they are just in their own worship zone swaying to the music. There isn’t that sense of unity of the whole group singing together as one, in one accord. I can get the same experience going to a concert.
My spirit is grieved
And in both settings the preaching and teaching are Biblical and inspiring. So what’s wrong with me? Is it just me?
I’ve been taught all of my life to set aside my feelings and just do what I’m told. But it isn’t enough anymore. I agree that my spiritual life can’t be based on feelings, but do I have to discard my emotions altogether? Didn’t God give them to me and proclaim them good?
Wanting to control
At some point in time, everyone agreed: you go to church, you pray, sing some songs, have announcements, pray again, have some preaching, pray again, and are dismissed. (and don’t forget the offering somewhere in there too). Where is this in scripture? I can’t find that format no matter which Epistle I read.
The standard answer is, of course, that there must be structure or you will have chaos. Structure, however, encompasses more than just a programmed meeting format. Structure is the invisible platform of mutual respect. Are we so afraid of losing control that we can’t trust others to follow the teachings of Christ within a less rigid format?
Let Go and Let God
Maybe we are trying to tame God. We want Him to work, but we want to set the parameters of how He does it. And if someone doesn’t like our parameters, well they can just go to the church down the street. If someone doesn’t like our style of music, they can go to the Baptist church around the corner. If someone doesn’t like or manner of dress, they can go to the Methodist church on First Street. And if God doesn’t like our parameters, “He should understand that we’re human and are afraid of what will happen if we let go and trust Him.” He created us so He already knows that, right?
Geography vs. Denominations
When I read about the early church, the local body were all of the believers within a geographical location. They did not belong to different local bodies based on their individual preferences. Why do we? I’ll bet it was messy. In fact, I think I’ve read of some messes that happened in the early church. I don’t remember Paul recommending a rigid programmed format for meetings as the answer to those problems, or to separate and meet down the street.
The Church’s Purpose
So, why does the church even exist? What is this all about? Who are we and is the church obsolete? If I’ve read my Bible correctly, we are the body of Christ, redeemed to glorify God by reflecting His image and glory.
A body: as in a living organism.
And we all have different functions. I can’t help but think that much of our denominational and other divisions are caused in effect by the eye saying to the hand, “I have no need of you”.
Does the Church have an autoimmune disease?
Maybe the prevalence of autoimmune diseases in our world today is God’s way of shouting a message to us about the church. We are attacking our own body, and it’s destroying us from the inside out.
The church is alive, and meant to be wild and untamed by everyone and everything except it’s head, Jesus Christ. It isn’t wild to God, of course, but it is wild to us, we aren’t meant to tame or control it. We want to control our image, and we want to control the church’s image. We weren’t meant to. That isn’t our job. Our job is to Go, Teach, Grow. The church’s only image is Christ.
I don’t want to see myself as controlling. I don’t like it when other people try to control me or control environments that effect me. To be honest though, I have been controlling at times. Well, to be even more honest, I am still controlling at times. I don’t want to be thought of that way, which is the crux of the problem for me. I care more about how I’m thought of by others than I care about who I really am.
Do I really want to follow Christ? Because if I do, I have to let go of trying to control where He takes me. I have to trust Him to lead me with my eyes blindfolded along the path He chooses. Am I ready, are you? It’s scary.
